When I was training with Cruse Bereavement Care many years ago I came upon this poem of support which is self-explanatory:
Don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.
Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me.
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.
Accept me in my ups and downs.
I need someone to share.
Just hold my hand and let me cry
And say, “My friend, I care.
Many years later I have learnt through my therapeutic work the real meaning behind the words of this poem and the profound impact this can have on client’s recovery from their grief process.
Client’s come with many presenting issues when they first start counselling/psychotherapy. For example, anxiety related issues, stress, depression, anger, relationship issues and many more. It’s only when you peel the layers you find that the underlying problem (in many cases) is unresolved grief issues which is hindering their present day life and possibly their future prospects.
Counselling can help you come to terms with unresolved grief which has been too painful to bring to the fore previously and will help you to explore the relationship between your current behavioural/emotional issues and unresolved grief/loss. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get help to start ‘living’ again rather than ‘existing’?
Parkes, C.M. (2009). Love and Loss - The Roots of Grief and its Complications, London: Routledge.